Love Thyself
Quick short:
According to Langston University's The Gazette a recent poll of 100 black students at a large midwestern university found that lighter-complected African-Americans were considered more attractive. A 1997 survey of students at predominantly black Fayetteville State University found that fully 1/3 of black males found fairer skinned sistas more attractive than darker skinned African-American women.
I guess the fair-skinned sistas in the music videos finally got to all the young brothers.
Two days ago, an Asian plastic surgeon, Dr. Edmund Kwan, spoke on WNYC (New York City's public radio station) stating that his most requested surgery -- by far -- was what, you ask? An eyelid surgery that gave Asian women a "more anglo eyelid!" He described this surgery as one requested overwhelmingly by high-school age Asian girls.
Eyelids.
Follow those examples with The New York Times reporting on May 30 that the most popular cosmetic products among modern Indian women are those that lighten the skin. Didier Villanueva, country manager for L'Oreal India, said in that article that "fairness creams" account for half of India's skin care market.
Lightness creams.
And finally, the soap manufacturer Dove commissioned a global study which revealed that many women believe the definition of beauty has become limited and unattainable - negatively impacting their self-esteem. It was this study which initially inspired their well-received Campaign for Real Beauty.
Wow. I guess Dave Chappelle was right when he said that if women were a stock, it'd be at an all-time low.
Thoughts on why this situation exists, ladies?
According to Langston University's The Gazette a recent poll of 100 black students at a large midwestern university found that lighter-complected African-Americans were considered more attractive. A 1997 survey of students at predominantly black Fayetteville State University found that fully 1/3 of black males found fairer skinned sistas more attractive than darker skinned African-American women.
I guess the fair-skinned sistas in the music videos finally got to all the young brothers.
Two days ago, an Asian plastic surgeon, Dr. Edmund Kwan, spoke on WNYC (New York City's public radio station) stating that his most requested surgery -- by far -- was what, you ask? An eyelid surgery that gave Asian women a "more anglo eyelid!" He described this surgery as one requested overwhelmingly by high-school age Asian girls.
Eyelids.
Follow those examples with The New York Times reporting on May 30 that the most popular cosmetic products among modern Indian women are those that lighten the skin. Didier Villanueva, country manager for L'Oreal India, said in that article that "fairness creams" account for half of India's skin care market.
Lightness creams.
And finally, the soap manufacturer Dove commissioned a global study which revealed that many women believe the definition of beauty has become limited and unattainable - negatively impacting their self-esteem. It was this study which initially inspired their well-received Campaign for Real Beauty.
Wow. I guess Dave Chappelle was right when he said that if women were a stock, it'd be at an all-time low.
Thoughts on why this situation exists, ladies?
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First off, I think I'm fine as hell...lol...I could care less about unattainable standards of beauty.
I know every man has a subconcious desire to get with a thick, milk chocolate honey with big lips and big hips like mine. LOL
On the real, tho...women don't begin to come into their own until their mid-thirties. We spend our 20s and early 30s trying to please everyone else, and then...life happens. You realize that while you're wasting your life away and making yourself miserable, life goes on. And the same folks you spend your time trying to please could care less about the essence of you, the best of you, the part of all of us that makes us special, unique, different and beautiful.
I'm gonna be 35 tomorrow, and you know what??? I'm gonna enjoy every day of my life. I look at my body and my brown skin, and I thank God everyday that He equipped me to have my three beautiful children. I look at my almond-shaped, brown to hazel eyes and thank God that they are the windows to my soul, expressive, emotional, pensive, thoughtful, curious. I look at my hair and I actually like it now that I loc'ed it more than I ever liked it in life.
One thing I have begun to understand is that these standards are in part driven by man's need for visual stimulation. Get this...if you are a man, and all you see on TV, in magazines, on movies, are skinny white women with fake boobs and long (sometimes fake) hair parading around as the gold standard of beauty, 24-7, you would be conditioned to want a woman of your own who looks like that or damned close. And if you're a woman, trying to compete for the love and admiration of a man that has been conditioned in this manner, insecure about your looks and your place in the world, you're going to do whatever it takes to get a man, including alter your appearance and core essence.
I'm not saying that all men buy into the "gold standard" I described. But when do men start holding other men accountable for being so shallow? There are a lot of beautiful women who don't even come close to the "gold standard," but I have overheard men being shot down by other men because of their choices, and seen men drop a women like a hot potato because he was more concerned about what his boys thought about him because the woman on his arm wasn't light skinned enough or her hair wasn't long enough. And the men who knew that their brothas were doing dirt in such a shallow way chose not to hold them accountable. This shit has got to stop!
I have two daughters, and both of them are beautiful. One is fair-skinned (I don't know how that happened, actually I do...but I digress) and the other is brown-skinned like me. I can't control what others may think about them, but I'll be damned if they are judged only on the basis of their skin color, hair texture, eye color, thickness of their lips or their hips. I'd better not be within earshot of no ignorant-ass comments favoring one over the other when they begin their dating years.
What happened to character, intelligence, poise, service to the community, family orientation, etc.? What about what's between a woman's two ears? What about her dreams?
Have we become a people so lazy and so disinterested in interacting with one another in ways that go beyond the purely physical and/or sexual? Has it come down to this?
Anyway, I ramble..I think you all get my point.
It is unfortunate that anyone feels that they need to be something else in order to be considered beautiful. African Americans "color" confusion has been a troublesome part of our cultural heritage since slavery and the tip-toe sins of the slave masters. This high yellow ideal, mulato dream still plagues us. But while we are busy worrying about who is light enough or dark enough (because there are those who ONLY like dark skinned brothers and sisters) we are missing the point that we have to embrace more than just skin color. We have to find more points of unity and less reasons to divide ourselves. Beauty is not tied to a hue or a pants size. Unfortunately that is easier said than done.
Happy Birthday Girlygirl72!
Thanks, Effaridi!
Go Bears!!